Sorry your sperm is too dark, and your is too BALD!!! (?)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Sperm
With more than 500 sperm banks in the United States and tens of thousands of donors, it was bound to happen.  As reported Friday in the Journal of Pediatrics, a sperm donor from Michigan passed on a rare and potentially deadly genetic disorder to five children.

The disorder, called severe congenital neutropenia, affects only one in five million newborns.  Those with the disorder lack a certain type of white blood cell, and this leaves them vulnerable to a host of infections and also leukemia.  Fortunately medication, albeit at $200 a day, can keep white blood cell counts high.

Doctors thought it was more than a coincidence when five kids born to four couples in the Detroit area were discovered with congenital neutropenia.  They traced it back to one sperm bank and one man.

For now this seems to be an honest mistake.  The donor, known but unnamed in the report, could have been an asymptomatic carrier of the disease.  (The only problem is that his whereabouts are unknown; the children are several years old now, and the donor has fathered other children.)  The sperm bank, known but unnamed in the report, only screens for about ten of the most common hereditary diseases, such as cystic fibrosis. 

Maybe the incident will bring about more rigorous genetic testing.  But no one seems to care about the biggest flaw in the system.

Well, at least his eyes were blue...

What's really wrong with sperm donation?  Einstein wouldn't have stood a chance.  He would have been deemed too short.  Genius, check.  Humanitarian, check.  What? Under 5'9"?  Hit the road, Jack. 

That's right:  Most sperm banks draw the line at 5'11".  We're weeding out the weaklings.  Sperm banks can't be expected to screen for rare genetic disorders when there are so many more pressing concerns to find out about the donor, such as baldness, salary history, hobbies and taste in clothing. 

Check it.